I’m not sure how I always wind up back in this position. I’ve seen this same situation displayed through out the process of addiction to hard drugs like heroin. A true drug addict isn’t a person who does drugs, a true drug addict is a person that completely destroys their life using, until they actually hate who they’ve become so they finally get sober; and then later use again knowing the consequence.
Is love a drug?
Can you be addicted to a person?
If something that brings you joy, but also makes you miserable is the idea of an addict, do I have an addiction? I’ve climbed out of this hole so many times I can do it with my eyes closed, but why do I keep falling back in? Why haven’t I built a fence, mote, barricade, forcefield, wall, barrier around this hole to prevent me from falling into this incredibly deep, dark, place? Do I actually enjoy the misery? Its been so long, and so many things have changed. I’ve had amazing adventures, and have produced a pretty good life for myself, but why isn’t that enough?
Why do you have to be the only thing that matters?
The only thing that can complete me.