Tag Archives: Doc Cromp

Doc Cromp: Haikus 5

Hello there, you guys!
It sure has been a good bit.
Welp, it has been fun!

I was only twelve.
Today is thirteen years, dad.
Never easier.

I passed my test, dad.
You wouldn’t be proud of me.
Couldn’t fit your shoes.

Broke and lonely, still.
Time to reevaluate.
I: Disappointment.

Sorry for that post.
Had to get it off my chest.
Welp, time for coffee.

Red as the devil.
My third eye shines all so bright.
Open perception.

God listens to you.
Only if you are Slayer.
All others bow down.

Happy Genocide!
Give thanks for what, you may say.
Indian Larry.

Why are we all sheep?
Who are you to judge me, prick?!
You must be new here.

Hate is an emotion.
You bastards have no idea.
Live for the bad times.

Thank heck and above!
The ancient druggon slayer.
Death, he will forsee.

Rape whistle, she blew.
The last remaining harlot.
Clothes are fau paux.

Doc Cromp: Haikus 4

Doc Cromp: Haikus 4

“Why so serious?”
Damnit, I hate that movie.
Why so, overdose?

Hell is just a dream.
One for the sad and desperate.
Live like you’re in Hell.

OK Cupid girl.
I can see you feet. For real?
Pic is now flagged.

Jugga_licious. Fuck.
Can anything else be said?

Naruto Ramen.
Did you mean to serve me glass?
Free beer don’t suffice.

Dabbin’ at work, tho.
Might be the last of me here.
Choose weed over work.

They took my tooth out.
Holy fuck, does this thing hurt!
Bullet Tooth Tony

Stood up again, son.
Done letting bitches phase me.
On to the next one.

Good question, broham.
They are all one in the same.
Bitches is bitches.

Bored as all hell, here.
Why is it I can’t crank down?
Oh, right… Illegal.

There are not but one.
Man and Womankind will fall.
Here comes a new dawn.

The apes have horses.
What kinda bullshit is that?
Now these guys got guns!

Doc Cromp: Chapter 1.1


Today. Today was supposed to be the day. Turns out it’s just any other day, because today, was not the day. The wind blows the flowers from the trees lining Washington Square. Today was going to be the day. It’s a shame what this city’s done to me. When they started slipping, I thought I could dig my way out, but the panic was too pure. I see these kids in their cap and gowns, and all I yearn for is a Remington 30-6 and about a dozen or so shells.

Today. Today was supposed to be my day.

Doc Cromp: Haikus 3

Jack Daniels, you punk!
Taste like way too loose butthole.
Domestic Dispute.

Someone called me out.
It’s all in good fun, lil sis.
Still more likes than you.

Boring day at work.
Thank the lord I got my vape.
Wax on wax on wax.

Chris Novaselik
Kurt Cobain and David Grohl
Who let Pat Smear in?

All Cops Are Bastards.
Revoke their right to party.
No retirement.

Guava, off the tree.
Tequila potentially.
Tasty fucking drink.

Day off finally.
Taking my food handlers.
Should just call this work.

Lost my phone last night.
Mogwai was well worth it though.
Last haiku for now.

Having lost my phone
had to buy a pornog mag
I : Neanderthal

Fresh out of smokes.
Just had to pay my rent.
Guess no food for me.

I lost my G pen.
What to do with all this wax?
Knife hits, here I come.

This is a haiku.
It is about Godzilla.
Big fucking lizard.

Doc Cromp: Haikus 2

Who let the dog, out?
Was it you, you, you, you, you?
Seriously, dog.

Can’t you tell yet, kids?
All my replys are Haikus.
Mile a minute mind.

Makers Mark? Yes, please.
Double, hold the rocks, thank you.
Gentleman drink this.

Where are my pants, mate?
Aww, fuck it. Who really cares?
Not I, said the fly.

White people are great.
Said no other ethnic guy
Never, ever, bro.

Goddamn, right you are.
Chump, is what I feel like, Holmes.
Boot my black ass too.

Raisin Bran Stoker.
Dietary Dracula.
Prunes from here on out.

Abort the new prince.
He will surely burn in hell.
Good Goddamn riddance.

I don’t like hard eggs.
Medium is still too hard.
Eggs eggs eggs eggs eggs.

I hear the French smell.
But, boy do I sure like crepes.

Sorry kids, we are here.
Start learning to accept it.
You will fall in line.

Dave Matthews Band Blows.
Pretty ladies seem to like.
Drown them in a tub.

Doc Cromp: Haikus

Get over yourself.
Yoda see like Yoda do.
PCP smokes, he.

May the 4th? Gay is.
Real Wookies recognize real.
You, sir, not you are.

Happy Birthday, Karl!
Broke nose you sure do have, braj.
Lost that barstool fight.

Working the first shift
Nativity In Black, on.
I’m going to feel.

Arachnids! Oh Fuck!
Shouldn’t have smoked all that dust!
But, boy, is it fun!

Best group on Facebook?
Haiku Club for the win, dude.
Smoke weed everyday.

Shitty Country on.
I need me some Highwaymen.
Fuck you, Reba Mc.

I have been away.
Many apologies, ya’ll.
Let the Haikus roll.

Jack Daniels, you punk!
Taste like way too loose butthole.
Domestic Dispute.

Romy and Michelle
Good fun for the whole family.
Allen Cummings dance!?

Plain biscuit, hold Jam.
Avocado sandwich, lame.
At least no oatmeal.

Pimm’s cup, shaken please.
Give you cool summertime buzz.
Enjoy it today.